Some people really despise or fear change, but I don't think I am one of them. I've always gloried in new sites, sounds, jobs, homes, experiences (for the most part--there are always exceptions like eating lard spread on your bread in Germany or bungee jumping). I'm a pretty adaptable person, overall. I like taking on new tasks because I feel like I'm earning another merit badge on my imaginary "Life Scout" sash that only I can see. I find meaning in life by maximizing the number of experiences (some ultimately positive, others negative) I have throughout my time on Earth.

In early adulthood, big changes are pretty much inevitable because life is fluid and flexible and its often the first opportunity one gets to make decisions without someone guiding you. Life can get scary because there are so many decisions to make off the bat and its easy to become bogged down with thoughts, indecisive, and mentally paralyzed that *this* decision...this *one little decision* can translate into bigger consequences down the road. I strongly believe that the tiniest, most seemingly inconsequential decisions we make, often unconsciously translate into the most meaningful and educational experiences in our lives. Thinking back, some of those little moments for me included:

• Baking blueberry muffins as a little kid with my father's mother
• Taking discarded pastels, markers, and crayons to draw during summers
• Approaching a stern looking teacher as an awkward high school freshman to join a school club
• Listening one October morning to a homeroom announcement my junior year of high school
• Deciding randomly to input info into a computer program to look for colleges
• Not biting the head off a guy who tapped me on the shoulder after an art class my freshman year of college
• Having the guts to ask out a guy who I thought was a little odd and completely unlike me

Respectively, these seemingly small decisions:

• Instilled a love of hospitality that flourishes to this day
• Nourished a love of aesthetic and sense of creativity
• Instilled confidence and pride of work, made important friendships, learned a lot about the characteristics I value and what I don't
• Opened the door to a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I cherish still very much, instilled a new sense of confidence in my ability to start life anew, tested existing beliefs
• Pointed me directly to where I should go to grow intellectually, make important friendships, fine tune and formulate life experiences thus far, provide space to critically think and finish growing, provide safe place for doubts
• Eventually led me to meeting my future husband, make important friendships that taught me the value of sticking to my beliefs, even when its tough
• Gave me the greatest love a wife could ask for

However, as time goes on and the needed decisions get made, the outcome is a set way of being with real and mental limits following thereafter. Nothing's impossible, but one can encounter many obstacles that are difficult to overcome both physically and/or mentally. For example, once you buy a house and have kids, its hard to say--"Hey, let's move to Japan for a year!" or when you're a retired couple in your golden years to say "Hey, let's do the Running of the Bulls in Pamploma!" It can be done, but generally considering the risks and the strenuous efforts it takes makes most people quickly abandon their ideas or flights of fancy.

Individuals who show more tenacity usually end up in some human interest news story as if they are strange anomalies ("Family quits jobs, school, and sells house to travel world for a year" or "94 year old woman earns master's degree"). If the more persistent person doesn't abandon a dream/idea/plan, surely those around him will convince him that its "silly" or "unecessary" or that its not "rational" or "responsible" or "sensible." Not that that's a bad thing--considering the ideas some men in a mid-life crisis frequently come up with--but, with time there are more limitations and additional considerations. I think that's a part of why many people find aging difficult--they miss the freedom or the opportunities they didn't pursue that are now much more unlikely. Only some of it is regained by empty-nesters and more so with retirees (provided they've planned ahead).

Not that getting older and set up and established is completely void of value. Habits and routines facilitate comfort, security, and dependability. One is usually able to use the resources around to maximum efficiency and effectiveness. You begin to see and experience little things that someone passing through might not truly appreciate (of course, the opposite is true that many do not appreciate what they always have). Upon marriage, its comforting to know that you have someone always right next to you, your teammate and greatest fan---of course, provided that one has correctly judged the character of her spouse. Its great to see the fruits of your work--the career you've developed, the home you've built, your children in front of you--who especially thrive best on a dependable set of parents and a secure home.

So no, I don't fear changes--I tend to thrive on them. Someday I'll decide for more security and a set plan, but until then, I'll enjoy the flexibility that life affords me and keep my eyes peeled for opportunities that might lead to a new adventure. But some days, I think about the greater trappings of adulthood critically and envy those who seem so much more assured of what they are doing for the next 10 years. Moments later, I think about what dreams or ideas that would require giving up and quickly resort back to me old, happy-go-lucky, change-loving self.

What I do fear, however, is loss. In the next few months I will permanently lose the setting of my childhood home as my mom has accepted a job in Eastern Pennsylvania and decided to head back to the side of the state from whence she came. It makes a lot of sense for her and something that's been planned and mentally anticipated for some time. But now that its happening, its a little hard to believe.

Some people would call that a change, a pretty minor one since its just a change of address, but its not--and here's why...

For someone that tends to like new experiences for the moment, the biggest curse is being sentimental with a good memory. I tend to attach myself to memories, photos, films, and places. I enjoy the past very much as I make plans for the future. But since my parents have now been divorced for 2.5 years, I can't plan for future Christmases in a new home as an intact family with my brothers and my husband, eventually my kids, and eventually their wives and kids. This isn't a new thought, but I have always been able to head back to where I've lived since 8 months of life to age 17 and at least remember times as a family. I can still do that, but of course, things won't be the same. I'll never be able to show my kids where I grew up and I'll never see them toddling around the places I used to well, toddle. It certainly isn't that rare of a situation, and I'm a big girl, so I'll be fine ultimately--but...well, it'll take a little longer than usual to wrap my head around it.

What is a bit of sadness for me is a great opportunity for change for my mother. New place, new town, new sites, some old sites, some more closeness to family and some friends with a new job. Here's hoping it goes well, Mom!