Golden September
I began writing an entry on September the 11th when a moment of quiet time interceded to talk about the life cycle of my basic existence starting up again--the beginning of school's start following Labor Day weekend. Then, suddenly, life interceded and a moment didn't clearly present itself until Keith left for a bookbinding course this afternoon.
The last two weeks of August started out pretty promising, or so I thought. My car was being sold, I was going to a wedding Aug. 31-Sept. 1, we were celebrating 2 years of marriage and 7 years of general togetherness on Sept. 3...however, since the start up of busy days and times have been frequently migraine inducing more workdays then I care to think.
It all started the last week of August when I was told I was going to have a third faculty member after all. Rather, a fourth, but Laura is in Georgia and barely asks me for anything (although the potential remains for her to give me work--making me a bit uneasy). My new faculty member is a former OB Unit member, who left in the mid-1990s to start a business.
Then, on the weekend we were in Easton, Penn. for Leslie & Jonathan's wedding the buyer for our car backed out. Being that this was the first car our buyer's family had ever have (the mother of the family not having a driver's license herself) I think the shock of the costs of insuring a 18 year-old Massachusetts driver hit hard. Still, Keith and I were immensely annoyed because we had sensed earlier that week that "something was up" and things were stalling unnecessarily. In the meantime, of course, we'd turned down over 10 individuals interested in seeing the car. So, we re-posted the car, got a few other interested parties fairly quickly, and after two viewings sold our car to a family in the South Shore area with two 16 year old girls who need a car to get back and forth from school and to go to after school events. We closed the deal on September 11th, a couple days before the family was to celebrate the Jewish New Year. So that was good to see the car ultimately went to students who would have some of the same memories I had, with professional parents who would see that the car would be treated well.
Almost two weeks later do I miss the car! Last weekend we took the time to go errand running and there was a definite urgency--less of an ability to window shop, take time for copious price comparing. Going shopping now must be conducted with a battle plan in mind--lists, review of the circulars, and a reasonable time objective to get in, shop, and get out. We're feeling the pain of no car when little errands crop up that need to be done, but we wait for them to stack up so that we're not renting a ZipCar constantly (since there's a 1 hour minimum). With a little time, and once my paychecks are no longer deducted for car insurance (and we get a handy check back--since we're still waiting for the Mass RMV to cancel our registration) and we're not writing out a $130 check come October 1, maybe I'll start to miss the car a little less.
Beyond that, life has been busy for other nondescript reasons that I can't put my finger on. I can't speak to any other major events and accomplishments of the last month--I feel like I'm just going to work, the days are jam packed, then I go home, feel utterly exhausted, get up, go to work...
At work, we've had some events. I came back to work on September 4th to find out that one of my quad mates, Barbara, had a son who died on August 30th, although his body was found in the woods near her home August 31st. Sadly, her son lost his life to a relapse into drug use, which turned out to be fatal--his first drug lapse of a year turned out to be too much, his heart probably seized during a walk, and he died. After hearing about Barbara's plight, I made the decision, somewhat nervously, to drive down with the car I still owned to Weymouth to at least deliver some catered food from Restaurant Associates and my condolences. Turned out that my visit, although Barbara herself wasn't sure she was ready to "see people" was the exact right thing to do and the right thing Barbara needed. The following day, Keith and I attended the son's wake, and this past week procured flowers and I baked muffins for the floor to celebrate Barbara's return. Its hard for her to come back and tackle 2.5 weeks of work and think about her son who always called her at her desk. We had a heart-to-heart about this Friday while I caught her up on other intrigues (read further on) related to our workplace. I feel confident that with time, as a routine is resumed, that hopefully some feelings of normalcy will resume. However, there is nothing anyone can say to someone who has lost a child--nothing will take the pain away completely. All anyone can do is just listen and try to understand as best as possible on the bad days.
I finally had it out with a quadmate who has been getting on everyone's nerves (quad, Unit, and other HBS staffers, some faculty, and a post-doc fellow) a few weeks ago. What I said just had to be said--I'm glad I finally snapped and spoke before the rational more ladylike part of my brain could talk me out of it. Since the assistant director for faculty support staffing was on vacation, the coordinator and HR finally had to have a "big chat" with her. I understand that they made it clear that I was not the "fall girl" but that the complaints had been coming from all over (and believe me, they have). We spoke just over a week ago and her behavior has been good, but its still questionable how genuine it is. For example, despite all her expressed concern to faculty members about Barbara's loss, I know she never sent a note of condolence. I guess we'll see. If she behaves herself because she's on notice, that's better than her not behaving at all. Finally, Jane, Barbara, and I feel like we can express ourselves cordially to one another without being shot "The Look", getting a loud "Ah hem," or having her bang her desk or foot stomp. I never mentioned it in blogs before (or really in conversation with many other people) because frankly, I have better things to blog about. Dealing with her was exhausting, so the last thing I want to do is write about it.
The weather has been so particularly beautiful. The quality of the sunlight and the soft warmth of most September days (although there have been some steamy 80-85 degree days) went largely unnoticed until adulthood. Perhaps this is because all of my life from age 5 to 22 was spent thinking about going back to school during this time of the year--now that life is consistently work Monday through Friday and is general in constant, it makes it easier to see other qualities in the world.
I'm going to be traveling a lot soon. A few weeks ago I was asked to represent the F&M Alumni Board in Boston at a board meeting to be represented by all national chapters. So F&M is paying the costs of me flying into Harrisburg International to attend a lot of meetings, take some tours, and basically treat my in-laws like a hotel and car rental service.
Then the following weekend, I'm spending my birthday (October 3rd) night in an airport flying into Pittsburgh. Then, we're spending the 4th with my grandparents, and Sunday evening with them as well, since they'll be leaving Friday morning to Sunday morning to be with my uncle down east. That'll give me Saturday and Sunday and Monday morning to hang with Mom. After having choice words for both of my brothers, I doubt I'll see either (don't even get me started).
My being a liberal sometimes has a lot to do with often being for government regulation. I personally don't think the rules are really for my benefit because I don't need a brain implant because I can follow basic rules such as following traffic signals, not vandalizing property, and generally being a considerate human being. I don't understand people though (especially in light of how people act around Barbara after her son dying) in that they can't do basic human being things without being told. If rules are what it takes to get people to behave, I'd rather have the rules than none at all. Sure, people still break laws--but not without fear of the consequences and for those who are caught, punishment.
At any point, I'm rambling now and I need to eat. More blogs coming soon (ok, well I hope) on other things besides the stresses of my life.
The last two weeks of August started out pretty promising, or so I thought. My car was being sold, I was going to a wedding Aug. 31-Sept. 1, we were celebrating 2 years of marriage and 7 years of general togetherness on Sept. 3...however, since the start up of busy days and times have been frequently migraine inducing more workdays then I care to think.
It all started the last week of August when I was told I was going to have a third faculty member after all. Rather, a fourth, but Laura is in Georgia and barely asks me for anything (although the potential remains for her to give me work--making me a bit uneasy). My new faculty member is a former OB Unit member, who left in the mid-1990s to start a business.
Then, on the weekend we were in Easton, Penn. for Leslie & Jonathan's wedding the buyer for our car backed out. Being that this was the first car our buyer's family had ever have (the mother of the family not having a driver's license herself) I think the shock of the costs of insuring a 18 year-old Massachusetts driver hit hard. Still, Keith and I were immensely annoyed because we had sensed earlier that week that "something was up" and things were stalling unnecessarily. In the meantime, of course, we'd turned down over 10 individuals interested in seeing the car. So, we re-posted the car, got a few other interested parties fairly quickly, and after two viewings sold our car to a family in the South Shore area with two 16 year old girls who need a car to get back and forth from school and to go to after school events. We closed the deal on September 11th, a couple days before the family was to celebrate the Jewish New Year. So that was good to see the car ultimately went to students who would have some of the same memories I had, with professional parents who would see that the car would be treated well.
Almost two weeks later do I miss the car! Last weekend we took the time to go errand running and there was a definite urgency--less of an ability to window shop, take time for copious price comparing. Going shopping now must be conducted with a battle plan in mind--lists, review of the circulars, and a reasonable time objective to get in, shop, and get out. We're feeling the pain of no car when little errands crop up that need to be done, but we wait for them to stack up so that we're not renting a ZipCar constantly (since there's a 1 hour minimum). With a little time, and once my paychecks are no longer deducted for car insurance (and we get a handy check back--since we're still waiting for the Mass RMV to cancel our registration) and we're not writing out a $130 check come October 1, maybe I'll start to miss the car a little less.
Beyond that, life has been busy for other nondescript reasons that I can't put my finger on. I can't speak to any other major events and accomplishments of the last month--I feel like I'm just going to work, the days are jam packed, then I go home, feel utterly exhausted, get up, go to work...
At work, we've had some events. I came back to work on September 4th to find out that one of my quad mates, Barbara, had a son who died on August 30th, although his body was found in the woods near her home August 31st. Sadly, her son lost his life to a relapse into drug use, which turned out to be fatal--his first drug lapse of a year turned out to be too much, his heart probably seized during a walk, and he died. After hearing about Barbara's plight, I made the decision, somewhat nervously, to drive down with the car I still owned to Weymouth to at least deliver some catered food from Restaurant Associates and my condolences. Turned out that my visit, although Barbara herself wasn't sure she was ready to "see people" was the exact right thing to do and the right thing Barbara needed. The following day, Keith and I attended the son's wake, and this past week procured flowers and I baked muffins for the floor to celebrate Barbara's return. Its hard for her to come back and tackle 2.5 weeks of work and think about her son who always called her at her desk. We had a heart-to-heart about this Friday while I caught her up on other intrigues (read further on) related to our workplace. I feel confident that with time, as a routine is resumed, that hopefully some feelings of normalcy will resume. However, there is nothing anyone can say to someone who has lost a child--nothing will take the pain away completely. All anyone can do is just listen and try to understand as best as possible on the bad days.
I finally had it out with a quadmate who has been getting on everyone's nerves (quad, Unit, and other HBS staffers, some faculty, and a post-doc fellow) a few weeks ago. What I said just had to be said--I'm glad I finally snapped and spoke before the rational more ladylike part of my brain could talk me out of it. Since the assistant director for faculty support staffing was on vacation, the coordinator and HR finally had to have a "big chat" with her. I understand that they made it clear that I was not the "fall girl" but that the complaints had been coming from all over (and believe me, they have). We spoke just over a week ago and her behavior has been good, but its still questionable how genuine it is. For example, despite all her expressed concern to faculty members about Barbara's loss, I know she never sent a note of condolence. I guess we'll see. If she behaves herself because she's on notice, that's better than her not behaving at all. Finally, Jane, Barbara, and I feel like we can express ourselves cordially to one another without being shot "The Look", getting a loud "Ah hem," or having her bang her desk or foot stomp. I never mentioned it in blogs before (or really in conversation with many other people) because frankly, I have better things to blog about. Dealing with her was exhausting, so the last thing I want to do is write about it.
The weather has been so particularly beautiful. The quality of the sunlight and the soft warmth of most September days (although there have been some steamy 80-85 degree days) went largely unnoticed until adulthood. Perhaps this is because all of my life from age 5 to 22 was spent thinking about going back to school during this time of the year--now that life is consistently work Monday through Friday and is general in constant, it makes it easier to see other qualities in the world.
I'm going to be traveling a lot soon. A few weeks ago I was asked to represent the F&M Alumni Board in Boston at a board meeting to be represented by all national chapters. So F&M is paying the costs of me flying into Harrisburg International to attend a lot of meetings, take some tours, and basically treat my in-laws like a hotel and car rental service.
Then the following weekend, I'm spending my birthday (October 3rd) night in an airport flying into Pittsburgh. Then, we're spending the 4th with my grandparents, and Sunday evening with them as well, since they'll be leaving Friday morning to Sunday morning to be with my uncle down east. That'll give me Saturday and Sunday and Monday morning to hang with Mom. After having choice words for both of my brothers, I doubt I'll see either (don't even get me started).
My being a liberal sometimes has a lot to do with often being for government regulation. I personally don't think the rules are really for my benefit because I don't need a brain implant because I can follow basic rules such as following traffic signals, not vandalizing property, and generally being a considerate human being. I don't understand people though (especially in light of how people act around Barbara after her son dying) in that they can't do basic human being things without being told. If rules are what it takes to get people to behave, I'd rather have the rules than none at all. Sure, people still break laws--but not without fear of the consequences and for those who are caught, punishment.
At any point, I'm rambling now and I need to eat. More blogs coming soon (ok, well I hope) on other things besides the stresses of my life.
Labels: car, co-worker, condolences, death, Focus, overload, rules, september, stress
posted by Alyssa at 6:00 PM
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