So, here I am, another nearly 3 months later between updates.   Sorry!  Its been busy...

Labels: Boston, diet, Guitar Hero, house hunting, ICA, mortgage

The month has been a busy one, filled with non-stop travel back to Pennsylvania and/or volunteer commitments. Therefore, I am just getting the chance to type this entry in the last 20 minutes of my lunch hour.

I read an article a few days ago that talked about how many New Englanders feel that this year's as well as the most recent years autumnal display of color has been lacking. I've been hearing that a lot lately and have to agree. This year in particular, it seemed that only parts of trees lit up with their fire-y reds, brilliant oranges, and bright yellows, while other tree limbs and other entire trees seemed to from green to a faded brown, papery mustard, or dried burnt russet color. Having grown up in the southern Allegheny Mountains of Pennsylvania, I know something of leaf peeping--but even at home the leaves seemed to lack some of the former splendor I remember vividly from my childhood. Some of my favorite trees in my yard, more than three hundred years old, were felled during my college days due to disease and age, and so, perhaps its just that I'm missing my favorite red oak in our backyard.

Bedford County has been suffering a bad drought the last few years, this year being the worst--Boston's been luckier to have some late summer and early fall rains, but not much more than my hometown. When I was growing up, every summer night almost was filled with torrential thunderstorms on hot and humid summer days (and most of them were hot, sticky, and muggy) and most Indian summer nights. I used to sit in the bay window of the living room eating popcorn and watching Evitts Mountain to see the lightening striking at various points across the night sky.

The lackluster leaves seemed to be a parallel representation of my life this month which has had its brilliant sparkling bits, but was otherwise blase, sometimes decidedly frustrating in its discouragement. Sure, it started out nice enough with the chapters meeting in Lancaster for Franklin & Marshall on Sept. 29-30, and then my birthday, and then my trip to Bedford October 3-8. Regrettably, I found through that my stress levels in getting my work done betweens days off and a burdening workload, home errands run, packing and unpacking, the added expense of all these trips, and having exhaustion as my frequent companion overshadowed much of the enjoyment I typically feel in this favorite season of the year.

It was Tuesday last week sometime when I commuted home feeling utterly frustrated and near weeping, in the twilight (yet again, even though my day's supposed to end at 4 p.m.)--angry yet again that my plans to leave on time and reclaim some of my life had again been thwarted by a lack of planning and not seeing any way out of not having exhausted evenings for the next 5 months. It was windy and the skies were almost purplish owing to the late hour of the day and the hazy clouds that had blown in. The leaves on the broken sidewalks below me seemed to almost take on an otherworldly brilliance--the leaves became peach, mint, saffron, white, soft scarlet, and soft chartreuse---the dim light contrasting with the duller color of the leaves and making something very soft and beautiful. As the wind blew, and the glinting leaves rolled across and around my legs in cascades, I felt disappointed that in some odd way, I couldn't feel any pleasure in seeing these colors and watching the leaves flutter in the breeze--all I could think about was the stress I had leaving work that day and already dreading my return the following morning.

The contrast between now and October 23, 2006, when I began my work here at HBS is startling. While no where near the level of constant pressure and stress that came with working in BU Housing, I'm definitely feeling the time is ripe for transition. I have yet to have a job that leaves me feeling, well...intellectually fufilled. Perhaps my expectations of the "real world" are just too high coming out of a liberal arts college education topped off with a master's in education. I don't know. In meeting with Suzanne, a career development guide at HBS, she agrees that I'm way overqualified for what I do. I'm glad someone does. I can't help but worry that the concept of starting low, working hard, and being promoted at work is going the way of the dinosaur. My greatest fear is that by doing this work, which my faculty really appreciate, that I'll become pigeonholed and be seen as completely unable to step up for greater things--and I know I can! There must be more to work life.

Since then, I've thought about the leaves I saw around me on the broken sidewalks of Allston on that smoky Tuesday autumn night and their meaning--nearing darkness and dullness inadvertently colluding to create something that looked so soft and yet so vibrant at the same time. Is there a meaning or a metaphor to be glanced from this? Or is it just something beautiful, just like all the other something-beautifuls of no particular significance?

Labels: autumn, Bedford, Boston, busy, drought, fall, October, stress

This blog is fast turning into the "Alyssa Show." Its a little late to be blogging about the previous weekend the following Thursday, but I was hoping my husband would have time to share his wisdom and perspective on the blog before I wrote another consecutive entry. There is no sign of his schedule letting up, therefore, I am electing to write again before I completely forget the little nuances and details of what I want to write.

My mind is firmly entrenched in the autumn right now even if my body happens to be stuck in the sweltering, humid final days of August. I have a headache right now at work because I just spent 30 minutes trying to unclog our Canon copier because *somebody* keeps loading it with bonded paper which always has and always will jam the entire machine. With my head pounding, I am sitting here, writing this, and wishing I was back home in bed with my two cats for company. I feel like laying around today.

I dread the fact that I am sitting her spewing about eagerly anticipating the autumn when chances are I will suddenly recall in the midst of a January chill that I squandered the last days of summer longing for a more temperate season. There's something said for being in the moment or "loving the one you're with." I'm not doing such a hot job with that right now.

With no vacation to go on now, little in the way of big plans, my mind is definitely more set towards better things, better home, better occupational duties, more of this and that, blah blah blah, children eventually. Perhaps if I keep myself busier or try to keep my head cooler, I'll feel less like my brain is short circuiting. Its always a great aspect of myself that I'm always onto new and better things to always be looking for the next project or next item to scratch off on my to-do list, but I don't think contentment in the now is ever going to happen for me.

After blowing off some steam, I should talk about the fun things that occured this past weekend. Mid-day Saturday Keith and I left our apartment (which if it was a person, and not a place would have been feeling *shocked* at being completely picked up and polished for the first time in months) to meet up my mother, my youngest brother, and my mom's boyfriend to go whale watching in Boston Harbor. We saw quite a few whales with a male whale Aporn being quite the show off. The day was absolutely gorgeous with azure skies, warm but not humid, and breezy. It was the first nice summer weather we'd seen in weeks.

We caught dinner at Legal Sea Food in the Harbor area and then parted so we could take Jimmy out pub crawling. That was fun, but we only made it to two bars before the menfolk petered out at 1:30 am. We got up the next morning with Dave and Mom meeting us at our apartment so we could head out to a celebratory brunch that Keith and I treated the group to for Mom getting her new job! I showed them around Harvard, took them back to our place, where we watched old family movies and laughed our butts off at mostly my young antics.

Then, Keith, Jimmy, I, and two friends who bought tickets with us went to the New England Revolution MLS game who was playing the LA Galaxy--now the home team of David Beckham! Of course, if you've read much about this game you know that Beckham sat on the sidelines the entire time while while NE Revolution won the game. The crowds occasionally rang with the chant "Overpaid, Overpaid, Overpaid" and booing rang out when the jumbotron showed Becks sipping his Gatorade on the slidelines. Here's a news story.

Regardless, it was a fun game, something that I think more NE residents should go to because the games are a ton of fun especially watching the crazy die-hard fans in "The Fort" or the fireworks going off when there's a goal, or the minutemen militas stationed at either side of the field with muskets and yellow cards and red cards when appropriate. We had great seats for $34 a pop at half field, 11 rows up. They also have very reasonable family packages.

It was back to work at Monday and this week has had its fast moments and its slower moments. This weekend will be quiet which is good, but hopefully Keith and I will do some fun things. As always when looking towards the future, the weekend is a good thing to be focused on.

Labels: august, Boston, happy birthday, holidays, Jimmy, ocean, revolution, sea, soccer, summer, whales